dear universe

I see what you've been up to in regards to my life this summer, but I'm still unsure as to why.  This stalking of a certain individual you've been doing on my behalf is kind, but it makes me feel just a bit weird.

When you made sure I noticed him on the highway on the way home from work, I was pretty upset.  When you talked me into giving CL personals a go and I ran into his post there, I was incensed.  Being driven past him a few weeks later just made me feel awkward, and running into another post I thought was him just made me feel like a fucking stalker.

But I relented to whatever it is you need me to bother him for and reached out.  And now I remember how smitten I was.  And that kind of freaks me out.

This evening, I found a gift I didn't give him before, amid the piles of crap I grabbed from my totaled car.  How the hell it made it out of the bag o' Goodwilling, I have no idea.  But again, I feel strange.  Good, but strange.

Letting go of control is not something I am good at.  In fact, I'm not sure I've ever gotten what I want in the heart department without a ton of strategy and maybe a smidge of manipulation... and that really shows why my adventures in love have ended in so much fail.

Is that your deal?  Is this some grand plan to make me better?  If that's the case, cool I guess... but could you just make it a tiny bit more obvious?  I really am dense.

Thanks in advance for step-by-step instructions on getting out of my head,
Ali <3