groundhog day
I need to get out. As I sit here performing mouth-to-mouth on this bottle for Cupcake chardonnay, I realize that I've had no adult interaction that was not work related, with my ex or while confined to the house with my super depressed 80 year old grandmother in weeks. What was supposed to be the summer of finding myself is rapidly devolving into a time of repentance for past sins, apparently.
I'm in purgatory. Time not spent honing my parenting skills is either used working or trying to help said grandmother regain her sanity. Or, as tonight reveals, drinking all of the booze I have in the house and walking to the LQ to buy more... all in the name of laundry, I swear.
I'm currently wiggling into a pair of pants that are so ill-fitting that I have, up until now, refused to be seen in them. But I need smokes. And maybe a smile... one that says "you are not alone"... but I'm pretty sure I'm just going to spend way too much money on cancer and that's it.
I love the summer... specifically summer nights. But not getting to truly enjoy this time is really putting a dent in my entire personality.
So I'm going to go text my ex because, you know, it's something to do that seems like it may result in something that IS NOT THE SAME FUCKING THING I DO EVERY NIGHT. Wish me luck... in what, I have no idea. But at least it'll be a change from this Groundhog Day I'm currently wading through.
I'm in purgatory. Time not spent honing my parenting skills is either used working or trying to help said grandmother regain her sanity. Or, as tonight reveals, drinking all of the booze I have in the house and walking to the LQ to buy more... all in the name of laundry, I swear.
I'm currently wiggling into a pair of pants that are so ill-fitting that I have, up until now, refused to be seen in them. But I need smokes. And maybe a smile... one that says "you are not alone"... but I'm pretty sure I'm just going to spend way too much money on cancer and that's it.
I love the summer... specifically summer nights. But not getting to truly enjoy this time is really putting a dent in my entire personality.
So I'm going to go text my ex because, you know, it's something to do that seems like it may result in something that IS NOT THE SAME FUCKING THING I DO EVERY NIGHT. Wish me luck... in what, I have no idea. But at least it'll be a change from this Groundhog Day I'm currently wading through.
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