home

I wrote the following to read at my grandmother's funeral. For those of you that were there, you know that I shortened it up quite a bit due to emotion and the fact that it is super long-winded for a funeral. It's not even close to everything I want to say about the amazing woman that shaped me so, but I feel the need to get it out there. I will address the two and a half years of silence later.

Home.  That's what Grams was.

I didn't know my grandma until she was an older lady, obviously, so all of my stories are from her later years.

One of my favorite memories of her was the time that we were sent out to buy a new TV.  Just me and Grams. While we were at whatever electronics store was prevalent in the mid-90's, we decided to also look at CD players, because I was the only person in the house that had one at the time and I was sick of sharing.  We were pricing a nice shelf system and remembered that we were there just to get a TV.  Grams looked at me and asked "Well, should we get the TV or the stereo?".  I, of course, answered, "Why not both?"  We were never allowed to shop alone again.

Another favorite memory was when she bought me my first car.  She had been adamant that I get a two door, so as to not drive all my friends around because I was supposed to only be driving my brothers around.  We chose a nice two-door manual and conned the salesman into teaching me how to drive a stick shift.  Four hours later, we did not end up buying that car.  We bought a nice 4 door automatic from another gentleman so I could drive all my friends, that were really her adopted grandkids, around.

My most cherished memory will always be the day I moved back home after my mother's stroke.  Some of you were here for that funeral. The happy memory during that dark time is the day I showed up at the hospital after being out of contact for weeks as Mom had kicked me out while Grams was on a long vacation. The first words out of her mouth were "Come home".  She fed me the first real meal I'd had in days, and laughed at my slurred speech due to a newly acquired tongue ring (because, you know, tongue rings are more important than eating). all while telling me everything was going to be OK... that I'd never be homeless again. Concentrating on comforting me while her world was falling apart.

I have so many other stories I'd love to tell you but there's no time for detail.  The time Jarrett came up from New Mexico to stay a night and didn't leave for three weeks.  The time Torie was having a rough go of it and Grams moved her in.  The time she caught my high school boyfriend staying in my closet and she gave him a room, or the time I moved another boyfriend in while she was on vacation and she didn't kick him out.  The years that she accepted collect calls from my friend in prison just so he'd have someone to talk to, and the multiple times I trashed the house throwing parties and she didn't kick me out.  The six years Tony went to high school and still left to get his GED.  Letting Nic emancipate so he could give being a man a go.  Jobs, leases, and mortgages abandoned yet still giving us a place to come home to. Babies unplanned but welcomed into our fold with open and happy arms....

Grams was the most giving and selfless person I have ever known.  Between working her tail off at the post office, feeding the whole neighborhood, and trying to lead an active social life, she took in every stray we brought home, helped us power through when we thought we were done, and somehow managed to get three kids that were not truly her responsibility to adulthood... however belatedly.  And not a word of complaint from her, only love and understanding... and probably quite a bit of frustration.

She taught me what it is to love your fellow man, because she never refused an extra mouth to feed or bed to provide.  She taught us the value of hard work, because she never turned away from work that needed to be done.  She taught us what it is to love unconditionally, because she loved us, though sometimes, we were really, really hard to love.

Grams was all that home is supposed to be.  And now she is home.  And how can we be sad at that?