dear pizza place

I'm really sorry that you had to audibly witness my attempt at paying you.  I'm sure me not being able to operate the lock on the front door was humorous, albeit for 5 mins, but the  time spent trying to get out through the garage had to be the icing on the cake.

I also, preemptively, apologize for the hanoc we're going to wreck on your driver tonght.  I already plan in giving him a 100 percentf tip for what he gets to see.

So, pizza chain, we may never see each other again, but know that I love you.  Now and forever.