to the death of the never-ending laundry pile

Judging by my informal poll of Blogger users yesterday (hitting "next blog" for over an hour), I am definitely in the minority as far as... well, everything.  I'm a single, never-been-married mom who works full-time, while also taking care of an elderly grandmother who can't really help in keeping the house from becoming a bottomless pit of trash and dust, and is a heathen that definitely does not go to church every Sunday/Saturday/day/whatever.  That said, if you've happened across this internet publication (ha!) by way of the "next blog" button and you find you're having some trouble getting motivated to get all of your chores done, you're in luck because I've totally discovered the secret.

At the end of last month, I decided that February was to be a month of sobriety.  I know, my blood composition in the after-Luke-goes-to-bed hours is typically made up of wine and a just a touch of vinegar, so what the hell would bring me to make a decision like this?

My thought was that I wasn't getting enough done around the house.  Since my brother is away training in San Jose for the Reserves for a month anyway, I thought this would be the best time to wring myself out and get down to business as I am totally stuck at home.  Boy, was I wrong.

We're only 12 days into the month and I am bored out of my God damned mind.  And has anything gotten done?  Not that I haven't done during the sober daytime hours and definitely nothing above what I was getting done before.  I haven't even managed to fully clean off the DVR, which is consistently 82% full.  Seriously, how much effort does it take to sit down and watch TV?!

I ended up having two glasses of wine while at a friend's house last night (because, you know, it was there) and guess what?  I came home and folded the laundry that's been sitting on the couch in the basement for almost a month.  I thought about getting more wine and tackling everything else in the basement, but remembered this need to prove that I can have a good time without booze.

Instead, I had a realization today while cleaning the upstairs bathroom that I would have been cleaning even if I had decided to get hammered last night.  Drinking gives me motivation.

Turns out that drinking excessive amounts of wine makes me feel like I need to do something productive.  I can't very well just sit around boozing out by myself every few days and not do anything without feeling bad about my life.  So, I do what I'm supposed to do while my kid's sleeping; work I didn't finish while in the office, folding laundry, cleaning the kitchen and around the basement while listening to Jersey Shore, etc.

Sober month is officially out.  I made it a couple weeks, and while I didn't prove that I don't need booze to have a good time, I did prove that I need it to make household chores survivable.  And really, why ruin a good thing?  A bottle of wine a night is good for you... right?