a holiday is so much better when the ex-boyfriend is crying...

So, last night I was going to post about how I was quitting smoking.  That specific entry has been put on hold until sometime in the near future when I don't spend my entire evening in the kitchen, pre-cooking all that I can and working up a sweat that's so bad that getting outside for just a couple drags is just about heaven...

Anyway, the most important topic of conversation in my household at the moment is the fact that my ex showed up last night, drunk, to apparently talk me into coming back to him.  I now have just a few words of wisdom to those that are trying to win someone back:

1)  Don't show up drunk.  This shows that you're not thinking clearly and that you're really not taking her seriousness serious.

2)  Don't show up during prime wine-drinking time.  This shows that you really don't know your former love at all.

3)  Don't assume that she's leaving you for another dude.  This shows that you think all of her pissing and moaning is nothing that another dick can't solve, thus again proving that you're not taking her seriousness serious.  Also, it proves that you don't think your dick-giving skills are up to snuff and insecurity is so not attractive.

4)  Don't spend all of your time telling her how much she sucks.  This proves that you really don't think very highly of her.

5)  Don't tell her you should stay together for the child.  Are you fucking stupid?

6)  Show up with flowers. or tacos, or SOMETHING besides your drunk self.  This would show her that maybe, just maybe, you don't think this is a fucking joke.

I just spent an hour giving all the reasons I left and all of the reasons that I will never come back, but no one really wants to read all of that besides him... and really, I'm over talking about it.  The fact is, I am ready to find what I deserve.  And I'm going to.

So fuck off.

I shall return to awesomeness sometime after Black Friday.  Cheers!